Before I had a baby my clothes were nearly always chosen as follows: statement over comfort, trend over function, tight over loose.Everything changed when my daughter was born ??? not just because my body changed, but because once the sleep deprivation really kicked in and my brain cells were invaded by the love/anxiety stuff of parenthood, I couldn???t be arsed to worry about what I was going to wear quite as much.Or indeed find the same joy in a well-crafted pleat.

Rather than trawling for a high street version of the Miu Miu heels I loved, I was searching for the perfect button-down shirt to facilitate the unleashing of one milky mammary without exposing my stomach to the cold.Suddenly I was deploying the obsessive attention once held for Outnet Flash Sales to M&S???s nightwear department.My beloved leather jacket didn???t have a hood and was far from waterproof, so was resigned to the loftbecause I needed both hands to steer the tank-style buggy we bought against everyone???s advice.

That first walk in my Ash sneakers was a revelation ??? comfortable, cosy and surprisingly bouncy.I told everyone in my NCT group, and we all luxuriated in our spongy soles

Jeans, tights and all synthetic fabrics were also banished, thanks to the hot sweats I would collapse into mid-feed, post-feed and just before a feed.I bulk-bought maternity bras, chasing down perfect strangers to find out where they???d bought their undies from.

I even bought my first pair of trainers.That first walk in my Ash sneakers was a revelation ??? comfortable, cosy and surprisingly bouncy.I told everyone in my NCT group, and we all luxuriated in our spongy soles, swapped notes on the nicest cotton shirts, even went for bra-fittings together.Every new buy that felt good and looked nice was a little victory we celebrated together - and when you???re battling all the little things about being a mum that can make you feel like a failure, a little victory can go a long way.

So, when I saw designer Jools Oliver ??? who gave birth to fifth child, River Rocket five weeks ago - post a picture of her feeling happy in a new pair of Ace & Jig trousers, I felt like high-fiving her.And buying the trousers, because they have an elasticated waist and there???s less chance of developing thrush with that kind of gusset.

She looks great, but she is not ???flaunting??? anything, she is not clad in a bikini nor skinny jeans.Actually, it???s the kind of outfit that gives nothing away of what lies beneath.

But not everyone was as thrilled with her sartorial moment of triumph.While most followers ???liked??? the picture one woman took offence, commenting:???I am currently pregnant with my 2nd baby.And every minute of every day I???m scrutinizing my weight etc. Pictures like this DO NOT HELP!Shouldn???t you be more concerned about bonding with your child rather than how quickly you fit back into your jeans????

I scrolled back to the picture and scrutinized.The waistband is elastic, the cut generous.Jools is wearing them with a slouchy white t-shirt.So my feeling was less ???how dare she!???, more ???nothing to see here, move along now???.She looks great, but she is not ???flaunting??? anything, she is not clad in a bikini nor skinny jeans.Actually, it???s the kind of outfit that gives nothing away of what lies beneath.

I think the straw that broke this particular commenter???s back was the part of Jools???s accompanyingcaption that read, ??????finally ???almost??? fitting into these gorgeous trousers.???But quite crucially in my mind is the fact Joolsfollowed it up with ???so comfy post little baby and beyond,??? aka, they???re not super tight, they???re allowing for the physique one has post-baby.

I do feel kind of bad looking at this picture, but only because I don???t have those trousers and now I really bloody want them.???Honestly it???s about the trousers!!!???Jools responded to the furious body-shaming that it sparked.???I didn???t even think about the weight!!!For god sake I still have heaps to lose???As for bonding with my baby???I feel no need to address this ridiculousness.???

I feel for the pregnant woman ??? if this picture makes you feel bad, that???s a real shame.But to suggest there???s a correlation between new trousers and neglectful parenting is a no-no in my book.

Still, it shows how fraught it is for new mums - both in real life and online, where you"re judged if you care about what you look like and if you don"t. Last year there was Bianca Fry who was trolled for writing in US Elle that she didn???t want to resign herself to ???sweatpants and spit-up??? and felt that self-care, wearing nice clothes and feeling sexy was important to her sense of self post-baby.Then there???s the constant stream of ???New Mum, [any celebrity name] looks tired as she runs errands without her newborn son??? headlines ???Rose Byrne in a ???large garment??? and ripped baggy jeans covering her not-yet-ripped body.You can???t win.

Still, it shows how fraught it is for new mums - both in real life and online, where you're judged if you care about what you look like and if you don't

If you???re feeling a bit low, I guess it???s natural to sense judgment in other people???s pictures ??? that by dressing up or whacking on a load of makeup, they???re casting aspersions on those who are not.Similarly, the ???OMG, Boris just ate a whole bowl of broccoli!??? will be upsetting the woman who can???t get her little Hugo off the Cheerios.The ???Got 8 hours sleep last night, #blessed??? will infuriate the woman who has been up all night with a teething despot.

So is celebrating a parental victory just insensitive?Was Jools being inconsiderate?Body-shaming makes me so mad, but this?I can???t find the offence in it.I think she was just plugging a brand, sharing something other women might like.In the grand scheme of things, I don???t even think her post is a blip on the radar.But if it makes you feel bad, take Jools???s own advice and unfollow her.Because I think sometimes you???re just sharing a picture of some comfy trousers, and as my mum always used to tell me, you can???t please everyone.

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